mantras.
my mantras from the past week:
-take what life gives you, and enjoy it.
-love is like riding a motorcycle, you take tons of risks – but it feels so fucking good.
-enjoy what you have, while you have it.
-don’t confuse helplessness with martyrdom.
-getting two things at the same time is something i have always asked for, so deal with it.
questions i’ve been asking myself:
-because it feels good 75% of the time and real, real crappy 25% – does that mean it is wrong?
-does putting yourself in the line of fire mean you will actually get shot?
-does leaving your heart open for all to see mean you are pathetic?
-when you lament over someone you spent 6 months talking shit on, does that mean you are totally fucked in the head?
-when you refuse to put your heart away into that little lead box it was in before, does that mean it will be scarred irreparably?
-when someone tells you one thing and does another, does that mean you are crazy for believing what they do or they are crazy for saying the opposite?
-when you find yourself in a similar position as your kinda fucked up parents were once in, does that mean you are doomed to be just like their crazy asses?
-is this polyamory or am i just grasping at straws so i don’t have to change my home life?
-am i selling myself sort or reveling in the many facets of life and love?
updates on my mental condition:
-i don’t cry near as much.
-i’ve sort of moved on from the initial pain.
-i’ve decided to take a positive position on my love life.
-i know that i am an important part of alex’s life, and that means a lot.
updates on my physical condition:
-heartache is the best time for focusing on diet and health. been treating myself quite well.
-more sex than i’ve had in months.
-back hurts cuz i fell on the ice.
-i look vibrant in the mirror cuz i spend all my time focusing on the positive.
