once upon a time…

•October 29, 2009 • Leave a Comment

when i first discovered sex blogs, i found a sex blog graveyard….sad, old, hollow, dried up blogs – existing only as memories, as husks of their former selves.

and i wondered: “how could anyone leave their wonderfully written, enlightened blog so neglected? what happens?”

i know what happens…life happens.

so here i have a mausoleum of times gone by…words written by a seemingly former single self. a me with more time to spare, less work to do, and a stronger drive to have fun meaningless sex with people.

kansas has been hiding. alex only knows the real me.

we have nice, kind sex. quiet, sweet sex. but i feel kansas bubbling to the surface…right now she shows herself in dreams only. for the past few weeks i have been dreaming of people other than alex…quite conscience of it. aware of it while i am dreaming.

last night i had a dream about david bowie…i asked him about what success meant to him – he told me “finding someone to have sex with on a regular basis is the most important type of success.”

that’s my man.

•September 11, 2009 • Leave a Comment

alex likes punk rock. owns tons of band shirts. has more sub pop records than anyone i know.

he listens to bands i and all my friends have never heard of.

sometimes i get a bit worried that may lose him to some cute punk rock girl.

in a teasing drunk moment i said, “sorry i’m not punk rock enough for you.”

“no no,” he replied, “you are wonderful…i don’t want some damn punk rock girl.”

“really?”

“yeah, that is what i thought i wanted for a long time but i don’t want some girl that is into all the stuff i am in to. that’s boring.”

my god, he’s smart.

soul food…

•September 8, 2009 • Leave a Comment

i cook. i cook a lot. i cook at work, it is my profession. i cook at home, i like to do it.

but sometimes i find myself whining, “no one ever cooks for me.”

that is not entirely true. my sister cooks for me, a few of my friends cook for me, my roommate sometimes cooks…but my alex never cooks. he is so fucking clueless when it comes to food. i wonder how he has survived this long.

and that is all fine and good – we all have our weaknesses and strengths – but i still find myself dragging my feet into the kitchen wishing he would cook for me…

then i made a realization today – it is not that i want him to cook for me, but rather that i want him to feed me…to nourish me…to care for me.

he is an amazing supporter of me, he listens to my bithcing, offers advice, tells me it will all work out, helps me when i need it…but i don’t get nurture. i don’t get as much preventative love as i would want.

i call his love reactive love.

he reacts to my moods, he jumps to attention when i ask, he holds my groceries and finds my glasses.

i nurture the future. i feed him so he will be healthy. i like to work out things before they become problems. i try to foresee the things we will be doing in the future and try to build our lives accordingly.

i call my love preventative love.

maybe that is why we work so well. he is dealing with right now while i deal with tomorrow.

‘a gift for your girlfriend…’

•September 2, 2009 • Leave a Comment

“i don’t know what’s going to happen,” alex breathed heavily into my ear.

“nothing baby, you have a case of whiskey dick.”

we had fucked for what had seemed like an hour – tied up, untied, backwards, forwards, loud and fast, quiet and soft, more and more lube. i could tell he was getting a bit exasperated.

yeah, we had had a bit to drink and it was late. his cock was rock hard for a long time. i knew nothing was going to happen, but i was milking it for all it was worth – seeing as how his stamina had started off rather low. it was our first marathon fuck.

“whiskey dick is a gift for your girlfriend. we could keep fucking but nothing will happen. i promise.”

the relief seemed to wash over his frustration.

somebody please explain…!

•August 30, 2009 • 4 Comments

i am getting hundreds and hundreds of hits, but no one is leaving any comments really and i can’t tell where they are all coming from…

and it seems that everyone reads my tornado post and then leaves…what’s going on? anyone have any ideas?

sharing is caring…

•August 20, 2009 • Leave a Comment

alex fucked me. pulled and grabbed at me. smacked my ass.

i was feeling open.

“you know i am dirty dirty girl?”

“i assumed so.”

“i have been holding back because i haven’t wanted to freak you out.”

“that’s cool.”

“i mean, is there anything you are intersted in trying?”

“um, i don’t really know anything.”

he goes on to reveal that sex has never played a large part in his life, since he is in his mid-twenties and has only had two sexual partners. he also reveals that he sometimes feels a bit insecure knowing that i have had sex with a bunch of guys – many of which we hang out with.

i kissed and carressed and tried my best to reassure him that i would rather be fucking him than any of the other guys i have touched. it’s true. i may have had “hotter” sex or “more exicting” sex but those usually come with so much fucked up emotional trauma that it is not at all worth it…

real partnership is fucking hot. sharing all parts of me is extremely exciting. having a sweet boy that wants to learn about sex is the tops.

i don’t know where to start. i don’t know how to pull him out of his shell. the worst part is, he has a roommate and i have two. it is hard to be kinky when there are others around.

i’ve never had a blank page like this…i am usually the less freaky one…usually. i asked about fantasies, he replied – “i don’t know, they are pretty simple. sex and stuff.” it kinda made me wanna cry. i want him to be passionate about this stuff. to get excited about it. how do i get him to care more about sex?

sometimes i feel like this:

snow white

welcome?

•August 16, 2009 • Leave a Comment

i got over 800 hits in the last week (quite a bit more than usual) but i can’t find a referring link and no one has left me a comment.

all i can think is that it is something bad…

am i getting blacklisted? it reminds me of when then stopped letting me use the wordpress tags…my content was too mature. i can only assume that soon i will have one of those advisories that you have to go through to get to my blog…so enjoy the ease while you can.

till then i found this:

i will stare at your ass

where have i been…

•July 22, 2009 • Leave a Comment

work has been busy. and i have been enjoying my off time way too much.

alex is still an amazing dear.

and a friend sent me this:

again…

•June 2, 2009 • Leave a Comment

for a boy in his mid-twenties, alex struggles with his stamina. from my perspective, it is refreshing.

he is sweet and honest, his pride doesn’t keep him from cuming. his sexual experience is negligible, which makes him free from fucked up baggage.

we kissed and rubbed until i couldn’t take much more – “you should fuck me.” i whispered.

he got up to grab a condom, i continued to writhe on the bed. he crouched next to me, near my head, and slowly slid the condom on his erection.

i watched with big eyes. big hungry eyes.

he pulled my knees apart and took my nipple in his mouth, rubbed my clit with two fingers. there he stayed, sucking and rubbing. my back arched, my jaw tightened, my breath moaned. “are you torturing me?” i asked after what seemed like an eternity.

“yes.” he whispered into my ear.

have i underestimated this dear man? have i overestimated his sweetness? is he more sexually deviant than he lets on? god, i hope so.

he still didn’t make a move. and i laid there squirming.

he finally pulled my hips to met his. sliding in and out of me with calculated strokes. i just wanted him to pound into me. i flipped over and had him take me from the back, he only lasted two strokes – but tried to continue. i need to tell him i can feel it when he loses his erection.

i stretched out on my stomach as he cleaned himself up. i turned my head towards him, pushing my dark curls out of the way. “we need to practice. everyday. twice a day.”

he smiled, “that sounds good to me.”

“let’s do it again.”

“give me a minute,” he said the way every man does.

so i did, i gave him a minute. then i stuck my ass out and rubbed it against him. relentlessly torturing his cock until it grew hard.

this time he was quicker with the condom and the penetration. on my back, with my legs spread wide, i was so much closer this time. all my senses were tingling, my body was quivering, my eyes were rolling into the back of my head.

it took me like an unexpected wave. like electro-shock. like a whirlwind of pleasure.

from the bottom, i watched him watch me – his expression began as dead pan curiosity and slowly melted into a loving glow. he seemed proud of himself, amazed at my performance, and deeply entranced by what was happening between us.

it felt amazing.

“better?” he asked.

i looked at him with surprise, “better than what?”

“do you feel better than before?”

“i suppose, but i felt great the whole damn time.”

tugging…

•May 29, 2009 • Leave a Comment

i really do have a thing for watching a man whack off. i have a little voyeur in me.

he went down on me last night. for, what seemed like, a million years. the whole time i just thought about him beating off. over and over, giving himself pleasure. getting that look that boys get when they are tugging at their junk.

i finally came and pulled him up to my side. “you know what i’ve been thinking about. you whacking off.”

“yeah.”

“yeah, i would love to see it…sorry i’m weird.”

“you’re not weird. not at all.”

he slid the covers off and took his cock in his hand.

i watched him. swooning.

i watched him stoke and tug at his balls and get so far into it that i am sure he forgot i was there.

i watched his hands and chest and face.

i wanted to devour him. i wanted to lick him. but i laid there, watching.